This is a piece quickly scribbled on Facebook for my son Julio to reflect on, as he crafted his resume’. Carlo asked that I post it here also.
Everyone is passionate about something. When passion is channeled entirely towards a cause, we get an advocate, an activist, a zealot or even a militant. Legendary Filipino photographer John Chua is an advocate, Jose Rizal an activist, Bin Laden a zealot and militant. It can be about sovereignty or photography.
When the passion is aligned with a source of livelihood — work — then we get an entrepreneur or a pioneer — Steve Jobs, Li Ka-Shing, Orville and Wilbur Wright, John Lennon, Coco Chanel.
Few of us get a chance to have perfect alignment between what we passionately want to do versus what we get to do or have to do. We do have to earn a living, if only to be able to continue being passionate about something (then we become active in a charity, an NGO, or a sport, even a hobby).
Some of us are thrust into roles that tremendously benefit a team, an organization, or a country — then we become a reluctant leader, like college basketball coach Norman Black, Philippine cabinet secretary Jesse Robredo, who died in an airplane crash last year, Noynoy Aquino (who had to be persuaded to run for Philippine President, thank goodness, otherwise Erap would be President today — he was 1st runner-up).
These reluctant leaders dedicate their lives and talent to that role. Then they fade out and do what they always wanted to do. Or they die in role.
I’ve learned that fulfillment — the contentment over a job well done, a cause well-served, a role fulfilled to the great benefit of others — is what really matters.
And you know what? We never know where the fulfillment will come from.
Never.
Che Guevara died in the mountains of Bolivia. He was passionate, but for what? Lance Armstrong was so passionate about winning that he shamelessly cheated and lied his way to victory. No fulfillment there. There’s a lot of passion in the science and arts, and yet nobody really cares until you invent a cure for cancer or paint the next Mona Lisa. Then it matters.
The key is, society as a whole must benefit. Advocate. Your field of expertise must benefit. Pioneer. Your team must benefit. Leader. And you, in the most selfish, self-centered way, must benefit. Only then will there be complete fulfillment. If any one of those is missing, you are a Lance Armstrong, a Che Guevara or a Don Quixote.
Passion isn’t the thing. Fulfillment is. And you know what? Fulfillment is a moving target. You stake your life on a narrowing funnel of options as you grow older, and you hope you find fulfillment.
And then you die.
In my all-time favorite book, Herman Wouk’s Pulitzer Prize-winning The Caine Mutiny, Willie Keith’s father sends his son a Bible, a last gift just before the father dies. The gift catches up with Willie in Pearl Harbor, where he is in transit to the floating rattletrap, the USS Caine. Stunned to see the handwriting of his father, already passed away, Willie opens the Bible to Ecclesiastes 9:10, which his Dad has underlined in a wavering hand.
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
Posted from Singapore, January 26, 2013.
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from the heart!
definitely from the heart!
words of wisdom gained from experience for sure, but written from the heart.
i can’t begin to imagine what you were thinking of when you wrote this for carlo,
but you unwittingly, wrote this for me too, and so for everyone else at whatever point in their life they find themselves in as they read this.
this made me sit back and take stock of my life so far.
cheers, supremo.
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Louie. I’m glad it’s relevant for you. Anyone who has raised a family is already in a tremendous leadership and pioneering role. Think about it — on the job training, massive responsibility, you screw up and they are screwed. I’m sure your taking stock yielded a surplus of fulfillment. You are also very aware of where you came from and how much you owe your Dad. I’m sure he’s laughing his head off with pride.
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You say “Say something” but I am speechless. I don’t know what to say! What an honor you have bestowed on John (and vicariously on us, his family) by mentioning him in the same breath as all those famous (and well… infamous) men, or for just writing about him as positively as you did. Your non-pilot friends must be wondering who John Chua is. 🙂 Thank you very much, Tonet, but your sons do not need to look very far. You’re right there to serve as their role model.
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John is an inspiration to me, Harvey. Every day. His posts are bursting with energy, passion and humor. And I have yet to see a project John embarks on that did not succeed far beyond my expectations. But even that is not the best thing about him. The best thing about him is how he inspires, motivates and compels people to lead, contribute, and dedicate themselves. That is the best thing he does. He enables people to fulfill themselves! By the thousands.
John Maxwell says there are five levels of leadership.
1. People follow you because it’s their job.
2. People follow you because they want to.
3. People follow you because of what you have done for the organization.
4. People follow you because of what you have done for them.
5. People follow you because of what you stand for, what you represent.
The fifth level is attained only by very few leaders, Harvey. Think about that now. Where is John? Why do complete strangers want to be his friend on Facebook? Tens of thousands in support of Maali, of disabled children, of rice terraces in Banaue. For heaven’s sake, people from Manila give up precious time to restore mud and stones onto the rice terraces, and they don’t even talk to John on a regular basis.
Then, of course, John could never do any of these without someone imposing discipline on him, encouraging him, and weaving a fine balance of letting him loose and reining him in. Haha! I could not think of a better example to name than you, but of course I went with John because it is his name even you work under… 🙂
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Harvey, it’s amazing how much of this comment went into John’s eulogy, five years later. Truly, we never know how much time we have. And I truly meant every word. Because I’d already forgotten this blog, and my reply to your comment. And yet 5 years later the reasons I was inspired by John remain the same.
T
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Tonet I have long admired your writing skills but this post sets a new standard… You have combined your writing skills with some philosophy and now with age, “wisdom.” :))
It is indeed, fulfillment that comes when passion intersects with service and results in satisfaction greater than what one has imagined before starting a task or a role. The fact that you put this together on the fly indicates how deeply the process and thoughts have been percolating and incubating within.
What struck me is how wonderful a gift this post would make.
I have already forwarded the post to five people who are struggling to find their passion and personal fulfillment. They somehow continue to search for fulfillment like a bumble bee trying to figure out whether a flower of a different colour will make better honey. When in fact fulfillment and passion comes from within and in service of a greater good.
The realist in me is convinced that like the Pareto principle suggests, 20% will read the post and really look for ways to learn from it and add to their life, 60% will read and say … hmmm interesting… and file it deep into their memory bank to hopefully surface in time of need … and the last 20% will simply decide “what a crock” and go look for a different coloured flower.
As I reflected, I remembered a video I saw recently on the TED site.
This short leadership video really impressed on me just how much good and how far sharing good examples and experiences can spread, without the sharer even knowing it.
After reading your post and looking at the video again, I decided to reconnect with people who had provided an “aha” influence on me in the past.
I could not recall whether I had ever let them know how big an influence they were on my thought process and my own road to fulfillment.
That did not matter so I decided to reconnect and let them know. In most cases, just as in the video, the person did not even remember the event or the sharing.
One of the events took place way back in 1974. A former boss taught me about clarity in communication. He slipped me a sheet of paper with advice on the need to make sure a message was fully understood. It set the stage for a habit that followed me through out my career. I still have the now crumpled yellow sheet in a file even though the wisdom it contained has been transferred to a colourful powerpoint slide and a digital photo.
All five people could not recall the specific event or shared wisdom. Yet all five made a dramatic difference to my sense of passion and fulfillment as a leader and a coach.
My conclusion:
You will never really know how far those seven or so minutes you spent articulating your wisdom and thoughts on fulfillment can go, or the impact they can have. However, they already have made an impact.
John
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John, welcome to Flying in Crosswinds! And thanks for your nice words. With more and more discernment, I now discriminate the ‘servant leaders’ from the more traditional ones. Not because of how they mentor and coach, and influence far beyond their reporting lines. But because of the fulfillment they get from doing so. They are genuinely fulfilled when they help someone grow (and it doesn’t matter if it’s someone who works for them or not). And they are genuinely disappointed when they are unable to mentor or coach someone to achieve more of their potential.
You look at the great leaders of the past, and that is the one thing that truly distinguishes them from the lesser leaders. And the truly mediocre or flash-in-the-pan leaders? Well, the thing that is most missing from them is the authenticity, the ‘genuineness’ of their fulfillment.
Isn’t that so?
I think of the most influential leaders — Buffet, Gates, Clinton, Reagan, John Paul II. Even Patton, the general, never shied away from letting his bigotry show, while being authentic about his passion for the art and science of shaping a battlefield and winning with the least overall cost. Ramos, the Philippine President, now in his 80s, continues to sell the country at every opportunity, striving to influence events in ways that will boost the country’s stability. You don’t see that from any of our other former Presidents. He was authentic during the People Power revolution, authentic during his defense of the Republic against numerous coup d’etat attempts.
When a leader is authentic, it becomes easy for him to articulate a vision and to get other people to share in it. I guess this is why I lost my admiration for Steve Jobs. He clearly had an ego issue, and his biographies began to reveal an obsession instead of a vision, contempt instead of servant leadership, and compulsion instead of true genius. He had contempt for people he did not agree with.
I know an airline captain who insists that first and second officers walk one or two paces behind him. They don’t always start like that. He certainly had a passion for flying and aviation. Then he became a captain and stopped being a pilot. Never became a leader. No discernment.
I could go on and on, but people will think I’ve lost my marbles.
Carlo did tell me that I should reveal on this blog more dimensions about myself other than my passion for flying. He has never made a suggestion I never liked. Sometimes it takes a few years, but I always see his authenticity and genuineness shine through 🙂
Tonet
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Thanks, again, Tonet.
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One of those quick and dirty posts that took 45 years to formulate 🙂
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