I was struggling to match Carlo’s poignant Fathers Day article, filled with deep and subtle messages. I’ve given up. Tail end of a four-city business trip. Too many meetings, hotels, overhead bins, airport check-ins, swine flu scans. Too tired.
Too many things to say.
So I’ve taken advantage of the power outlet and LAN port in this A380 seat (more like a small hotel room) to blatantly purloin Lane Wallace’s article from the June 1999 issue of FLYING magazine.
I apologize to Lane, FLYING and the intellectual property laws and quickly add that I’m a long-time subscriber. My excuse is that anyone can read this on their website, at http://www.flyingmag.com/flyinglessons/1422/like-father-like-son.html.
Read every magical word, fathers, sons, pilots, even moms and daughters out there. Lane was nothing short of heaven-blest when she wrote this.
Like Father Like Son
By Lane Wallace
June 1999
Several years ago I was standing inside a vintage B-24 “Liberator” bomber that was on display for a day at a North Carolina airport. A middle-aged man walked slowly through the plane and then approached the pilot and asked if he might sit in the cockpit. The pilot explained that the cockpit was off-limits for tours, but something in the man’s eyes made the pilot hesitate. He asked the visitor if there was any special reason he wanted to sit there. There was a long moment of silence. Then the man answered quietly, “My father was a B-24 pilot. My mom was pregnant with me when he left, and my dad was killed in a raid over Europe somewhere. I never knew him. But I thought maybe if I could sit where he would have sat when he flew … where he would have been when he died … “
The man stopped, unable to continue. But no more words were necessary. The pilot silently gestured the man into the left seat of the cockpit. I stood back and watched as the man gently ran his hands over the instruments, caressing the control yoke and the throttles, reaching out through the airplane and the years to touch the father he’d never known.
For several long minutes I just watched his hands, sensing the father in the son, as if the airplane had melted the years and men into a single moment and person. Then I glanced up and saw the tears streaming silently down the man’s cheeks. Fifty years later he was touching his father, perhaps for the very first time.
Our link to our parents is a complex relationship that perhaps we only really begin to understand when we’re faced with its loss. Who we are is intertwined with the joy and pain of our interactions with them; their expectations of us and our needs — met and unmet — that we looked to them to fill. Our parents are the foundation on which we build ourselves. And no matter how mature and self-sufficient we become, and no matter how imperfect our parents are, they’re still that last line of defense that stands between us and the oblivion of the universe.
So to lose a parent is more than just another tragedy. It is to have our universe explode, stop, and collapse in on us again. Regardless of how old we are, we’re suddenly six years old again and Daddy or Mommy is going away, and there’s nothing we can do to stop them.
In an ideal world, we only have to face this loss after we’re grown, having had the benefit of a solid, stable childhood and having had the time to develop the strength and support of an adult network of family and friends. But life isn’t always ideal, in this all-too-imperfect world.
We may not even feel the loss on a daily level. But the loss is there, somewhere inside. And we yearn for completion. A friend recently traveled back to the forests of France where his father was killed in the Battle of the Bulge. What was he hoping to find there? I’m not sure he even knew. But somewhere, among the trees and the ghosts, he was likely hoping to find something that would help complete the ground underneath him; give him a sense of connection with a piece of his universe that had always been missing.
The man in the B-24 was undoubtedly searching for the same thing — perhaps had been searching for it, on some level, for years. So what was it about the B-24 cockpit that allowed him to find his father there? Was it simply the age of the airplane? That it was a place his father had been?
Airplanes touch the hearts of those who fly them and bring to life a part of their soul that’s difficult to put into words. If you want to know the secrets of pilots’ hearts, fly with them. Look in their eyes when they bank the plane around to catch the sun on its wings. Sit in the cockpit where they flew, and you will be closer to touching their heart and soul than after a lifetime of watching television side by side.
A friend of mine recalls the only time he ever saw his dad cry. It was after his father suffered a heart attack, bringing more than 30 years of flying to an end. As Jim walked into the hospital room, his father looked up. Tears began falling from his eyes as he said to his son in a choking voice, “I guess my flying days are over.”
Like many fathers and sons, these two didn’t talk much together about matters closest to their hearts. But several years later, Jim bought an airplane and brought it to an airstrip near his dad’s farm. The day was beautiful, and he offered to take his dad up for a ride. As they got to the end of the runway, Jim turned to his father, gestured towards the controls and said, “Here dad, take it. She’s all yours.”
A simple gesture, but one that said “I love you” as clearly as any words. “I’m proud of you, I ache for your pain and I want you to be happy” … all in a single, simple gesture. Jim and his father weren’t good with words. But through a piece of machinery that had touched both of their hearts, they were still able to communicate. It’s a valuable gift in a culture where fathers and sons too often seem painfully separated by canyons of silence.
Somewhere in the raising of our children, girls seem to learn more about communicating with words. The reasons are undoubtedly complex. Perhaps make-believe games provide practice in verbal skills that baseball and football competitions do not. But a woman’s best friend is still likely to be the person with whom she shares her innermost secrets, while a man’s best friend is more likely to be the person with whom he shares his most important or favorite activities.

Yet without direct heart-to-heart talks, communication between fathers and sons relies more heavily on symbolic action, shared activities and unspoken understanding.
Unfortunately, the unspoken messages don’t always make it through the translation. Beneath the surface talk of sports or business are often sons who still desperately need to know their fathers are proud of them but don’t know how to ask, and fathers who love their sons very much but don’t know how to answer. Frustrated, they circle each other from across a divide, searching painfully and too often unsuccessfully for some way to bridge the distance.
Many times over I’ve seen an airplane bridge that gap. Part of the reason may be that airplanes allow fathers and sons to share adventures and life experiences that help create common ground and strong bonds of shared understanding and affection. But other pieces of machinery could do that, as well.
What makes airplanes such powerful bridge-builders is that they do more than create adventures. They can touch the hearts and souls of those who fly them, opening a door not only to a father’s mind, but to the emotional core of who he is and what he loves.
I doubt anyone ever explained this to my friend Jim or the son of the B-24 pilot. But our hearts don’t always need words to understand. Like airplanes, they speak a gentle, silent language of their own that’s deeper and more complex than any language made of words. And with that silent understanding, these men reached out through an airplane and touched the heart of the man who gave them life.

Published in FLYING magazine, June, 1999.
Posted from SQ 218, Melbourne to Singapore, ten years later.
.
The act of flying itself feels almost like a childish memory, the quixotic escape from reality of a young man who can’t even afford the avgas, let alone the plane. 

















The wind itself lost its way, shifting fitfully from east to south to west. 





























































Five years ago, I flew to Vigan airport, which in a Cessna 152 is equivalent to falling off the edge of the world.
Then Carlo and I re-discovered Ilocos three years ago. We flew to San Fernando in La Union, where we stopped overnight to fortify ourselves for a trip into deep space. 


Some of the heartiest Filipino dishes beckon, too.
We used to do day trips, but this year Carlo and I discovered a boutique hotel just off Calle Crisologo, a block from Cafe Leona.

But if you visit Vigan on Maundy Thursday, you can light lots of candles at the cathedral in penitence.
t
So I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised when Meynard, our aerobatic instructor, tried to put it into a spin… and it wouldn’t. 
The truly masterful pilot doesn’t just fly by the numbers, reliant on procedures and gauges. 










The thing sat with its nose snobbishly high in the air, its empennage perched on a tiny wheel at the rear. A 





Meynard’s students learn to take off, fly an entire pattern, and land with the whole panel covered, no references except the view outside, the seat of their pants, and the sound of the engine.
However, that is not the kind of flying needed in aerobatics and emergencies. 
A self-made man of astonishing talent and admirable character, Meynard was someone I didn’t know what to make of at first.
Dad had been urging me to fly with him and let him correct any bad habits and fill in any gaps I might have in my mindset and understanding of aerodynamics.
This blog entry is overdue, I know.
He outlived his Dad. Passed the mark just a week ago. I’m not sure he expected to. Today, he’s healthier and happier than ever. Fulfilled. 

Right now, I’m reading about Antoine de-Saint Exupery. 


The twin-engined US Army B-25 bombers, designed for land operations, launched on April 18, 1942, from the US Navy aircraft carrier Hornet just 650 miles from Japan, well inside the lion’s den. 



The briefing took, uh, 2 days. Emergency procedures, SIDs, approaches, even a crew change briefing.
Carlo and I kidded around nervously in the hangar, looking for a prop on the nose of the airplane. 
I was shot down in flames at Subic.
“Sir, malakas talaga ang hangin.” Xavier gave me a face-saving out.




Our start date, December 27, was blessed with perfect weather. The image on the left is not retouched.
The dirt runway of Paniqui airfield nestles between the sleepy towns of Paniqui, above, and Ramos, below.












Storytelling and a love of flight have always run strong in our family.
Take this guy. Professor Ambeth Ocampo is the head of the National Historical Institute, has worked with presidents, and hopes to write the great Philippine History book. For all that, he seems to have the most fun shocking, entertaining, and teaching his students all about the myriad craziness that most historians leave out of the books. Check out his book, Rizal Without the Overcoat, for fun facts and insights into the life of our quirky and passionate national hero!
Kate Teng is one of the smiliest, most lovable friends I have, and also one of the most adventurous! 

In December, it was my turn to be introduced to a new and thrilling experience, as I was treated to not one, but TWO flights in something called a Beech Baron.
He replied by text… .

Carl was test flying a Velocity at St. Augustine airport. The radio in the airport office crackled. It was Pascarell, looking for Jim Moser, the FBO owner.
Turns out Pascarell wanted to ask Moser for suggestions. Because the Velocity was in a flat deep stall at 9,000 feet, neither yawing nor rolling, dropping 1,500 feet per minute, airspeed zero.
Another Meynard friend is Budd Davisson, a great aviation writer whose hundreds of flying stories and articles are mostly true. 
The resulting dogfight, in T-34 Mentors, was epic. Bud wrote a whole article about it in Sport Aviation.
It felt like only an ounce of additional pressure would stall the wing, but get rid of that ounce and it was instantly flying again. 


